Civ4 AI Survivor Season 9: Game Three Writeup

This summary for Game Three was written by TheOneAndOnlyAtesh and looks a little bit different from the normal fare. Many thanks for volunteering to put this report together!

Take me out to the Ball Court
Take me out to build wonders
Buy me some Holkans and Chicken Pizza
I don't care if I am not a Survivuh
So root, root root for the Mayans
If he doesn't win I'll be short
For it's one, two, three wars your out
At the old Ball Court!

"Joe, that is QUITE the raucous home crowd, isn't it?"

"Indeed, Bob, out here in Guatem-AI-la, the local Pacal stans have come out in droves to support their Financial/Alive king! They should be excited, as many pundits say that this is one of the best season wide setups that the eccentric king has ever had. This is the perfect field for the Pool 1 leader, one filled with low peaceweight warmongers who will bicker amongst themselves while Pacal leverages his beautiful capital hides behind his corner, hacks away at his jungle - for sure this will NOT be a Hannibal situation - and runs away technologically off of those gems, right? Pacal clearly has the track record to do this, especially after his impressive second place finish last year against a majority high peaceweight field. Then, he has a beautiful playoff start waiting for him. This HAS to be the game where a Pool 1 leader finally gets it together, right?"

"Not so fast, Joe! Pacal looks VERY strong here, but we cannot count out the other leaders here. Our Pool 2 leader, Suryavarman on the opposite Northwest corner, also has a fantastic position, with a double corn start and easy access to the best dogpile candidate on the map to his east, Pericles! I think this will be a great rebound for the Khmer leader after his embarrassing Season 8!"

"Pericles isn't as doomed as he looks. Yes, he has a highish peaceweight in a mainly low peaceweight field, but it is not so extreme that he cannot make friends, he has warmonger respect, and one of his flanks is quite secure with Sitting Bull helming his East!"

"Huh, Joe, I almost forgot about that guy. He's basically SITTING_OUT_BULL here, in the Northeast corner nicely tucked away from the action. If there is one way Pacal could mess this up, it could be by going to war too early against the always tough-to-crack Sioux."

"You are right, and Pericles is sure to be a major player no matter what, either sending his conqueror to the playoffs or staving off dogpiles and getting strong himself. Anything to say on the two other Southern low peaceweights, Bob?"

"Well, nothing screams 'peaked in high school' quite like Julius Caesar. At one point, he came, he saw, and he conquered, but since modern AI Survivor rules have been established it's been more like he came, he saw, and then he whimpered. With the weighted seeding introduced this season the guy has plummeted from the top seeded status he had enjoyed for so long!"

"We'll see, Bob, the guy definitely has a lot of room and a lot of hammers. Perhaps if he takes out Qin, our rather fraudulent championship participant from the previous season, he could very well be in a strong position for at least second place. And that is key, because I like the second place playoff position a LOT as well."

"Yeah, I don't know how I feel about Qin, Joe. The Pacal playbook works a lot better with Financial/Expansive instead of Industrious/Protective. The Chinese backstabber will need to take advantage of those elephants to do anything, I'd say."

"Agreed. Before the game starts, here is Dianna, our newest sideline reporter, with an overview of the community predictions!"

"Thanks, Bob. Now, Pacal is obviously a huge favorite among the community at large, getting around 60% of the winner votes. Second place has less consensus though. Sury did get a decent chunk of Runner Up votes, and many seem to think that his success will come from the early demise of his Greek neighbor. But there were sizable arguments for every other leader to net that elusive second place playoff qualification. First To Die isn't all that clear either. Every leader except for the two seeded leaders got relevant First To Die votes. This is also a pretty significant game for the Fantasy Contest! SIX fantasy contestants have some sort of stake here. The Elephant in this room is of course Vincarius, with his extremely risky 80 gold bid on Pacal, the largest bid in Fantasy this year! Vincarius had a great start with Joao last week, and if the magic continues he'll surely be a favorite to win the whole thing. Also making his season debut is the defending fantasy champion, Kjotleik! He has a sizable bid on Sury, and this is the first game to see if he can once again repeat his strategy of having a small yet focused team. The other four fantasy leaders - ABC170 (Qin), Jol Nar Binks (Pericles), LinkMarioSamus (Sitting Bull), and Lobster667 (Julius Caesar) have lower stake bids, and these four would be happy with any sort of First To Die or backdoor second place result."

"Astute analysis, Dianna. AI Survivor sideline reporting serves you great, after all you can't get TOO chummy with 2000s game AIs! I can hear the crowd roaring, Joe, the game must be starting! Before we start, our analysts have provided a list of key questions for this game.

1) What role will dogpiles play, and who will benefit the most from them? In particular, with Sitting Bull on the complete opposite corner of the action, are all these warmongers going to twist themselves into a bind with pointless cross map wars?
2) Can Pacal spread his religion effectively or will leaders like Sury or Pericles dominate the religious landscape and leave Pacal isolated?
3) Can one of the Western leaders get a snowball going before Pacal hacks down his jungle and brings the Financial/Alive machine to full blast?

Ponder these questions during the commercial break! This is Joe and Bob at AISPN!"

(Championship rewatch trailer with a montage of Nuclear Gandhi)

"Bob, can you hear the crowd groaning? Mike over at AI-BC Sports just put in his prediction for a Pacal victory. There are widespread rumors that Mike's predictions are cursed, so the home fans cannot be too pleased about that."

"Oof, Pacal has two trends to overcome now, the Pool 1 curse and Mike's kiss-of-doom! Just as an aside, what an incredible job Mike does to bring this competition to light, don't you agree Joe?"

"1000 percent Bob. We should be eternally grateful for all the hard work he puts into this. Now, looking at the map, it appears Pacal as expected is going to secure the first religion through Meditation. And PERICLES is also shooting for a religion!"

"Oh no, Joe, Pericles is beelining Meditation! We saw how going for religion without any development techs backfired horribly on the Athenian last season. Guy needs to connect his Gold and Corn, he can't waste time on a failed religion with his starting techs! My Pericles First To Die prediction is already looking pretty good. Otherwise, looks like some pretty sound initial teching choices, would you agree?"

"Yes, we have a lot of Hunting or Animal Husbandry capitals and all the other leaders seem to be going in that direction. Sury is also smartly going Agriculture to connect his double wet corn. I'm already a tad concerned about Caesar though, it's gonna take him more than 20 turns to get Animal Husbandry."

"Yeah, his commerce is VERY iffy here. How do you feel about the favorite's second city site?"

"I'd say it's interesting, Joe. It'll be wonderful post Iron Working, but before? It's a rather slow start. The double fish coastal site would have been better tempo - the guy already has the scaling he needs. I'm also not so sure about its Holy City utility. On the other hand, what a great start for the secondary favorite. Pericles went East and Sury will have a lot of land available to him. His second city is going towards the jungle, but it is in the right direction and with Creative culture he surely won't be pulling a Hannibal - in fact, no one is! This is a rarity, but none of these leaders have queued Settlers in their 2nd cities, instead building them out of their much faster capitals. We have some AI competence for a change!"

"Great second settle by Qin too, Bob. The guy did not generate much buzz here, but Shanghai is in the right direction, instant river connection, can share some nice tiles, he might be an under-the-radar pick. The stone poison pill is also in the second ring. Mike certainly saw something in him."

"Anyways, Pacal chooses Hinduism! Looks like for the time being, much of Latin America will be celebrating Diwali. With that, Pericles abandons his religious bid and smartly pivots to Mining to connect his gold. Now the question is, who will found the Polytheism and Monotheism religions?"

"That remains to be seen, but Bob, I think you spoke too soon on Settlers. Look at Pacal - he has queued up a 17 turn Settler in his size 1 capital! That gold will carry his early economy, but he is going up against some aggressive expanders."

"Well, after connecting his wet Wheat he switched there so he should get it in a reasonable timeframe. Oh look, as many expected, Suryavarman is uncontested to the Polytheism religion! He will found Buddhism as it is his preferred faith. A huge get for the Khmer, he can definitely run the Justinian playbook from his position."

"Caesar's expanding well."

"That's to be expected, he can mine a Pig from the get go and is Imperialistic. But look at that economy! That is so, so bad, a 12 turn Archery research? Woof."

"He's done about as good as he can, I'd say Joe. Great job by the AIs with their capitals, it's rare we see the AIs six for six in connecting their capital resources. Of course, they all have nice capitals, it's going to be about the expansion race with land at a premium. I'm seeing a lot of Real Poverty Point contenders, look at Neapolis, what a bad tundra settle!"

"Nanjing, too. The Chinese are having a strange opening, why is Qin going IRON WORKING on Turn 38?"

"That's Production flavor for you, Bob! Now, we are clowning on these two, but you gotta admit they are both doing well at expansion."

"They just need culture."

"When the plains cows come home, they'll start generating culture! But you know who we haven't talked about yet?"

"SITTING_OUT_BULL?"

"Well he's more like Standing Bull right now. We hadn't been looking at him much, but just like that he is the first to five cities!"

"Joe, good thing he's settling away from Pacal. The jungle is really hampering his settling, and with just three rather small cities the crowd has gone eerily quiet. The Mayans are last in score despite having a Holy City!"

"Sury's slowed down a bit too, he also only has three cities. Noticing some barbarian troubles."

"He had built Stonehenge earlier, not sure that was the play for the Creative leader. He's lucky Pericles has not contested their settles too much. Oh no - he's now building Temple of Artemis!"

"But he's up to five cities now, so he should be ok as long as he grabs that barb city that just spawned to his North."

"Joe, just like that we are in the first 50 turns! Here is Dianna for the stock overview!"

"Thanks Joe. So far we have a very even game here, every leader save for Pacal having 5-6 cities. It's been quite rough for the economic heavyweight, and reports from the field have suggested that the limelight might be too much right now, the Mayan leader is displaying a lot of uncertainty both in his decision-making and body language. Of special concern are his food woes - his growth is SERIOUSLY lagging behind that of his opponents. Right behind me, I can hear some chants now: 'BUILD MORE SETTLERS! BUILD MORE SETTLERS!' Pacal would be very wise to listen to his fans. Otherwise, like you guys were saying, Qin and Caesar have been doing the best job at pure expansion. However, their economies leave much to be desired, with Caesar's in particular dipping below that of our cameraman Mahatma, and all that expansion could be a moot point if they continue to avoid culture. I'd say the three Northern leaders are having the best openings, combining modest yet good-enough expansion with solid economic management. One thing I'm noticing is Pericles is building a LOT of Phalanxes. Is he gearing up for the first conflict of the war? Right now, Sury's metal situation is a bit precarious and if the Greeks catch him at the right time they could immediately seize control of this game."

"Thanks Dianna - after the commercial break, we will be back with the broadcast of AI Survivor Season 9, Opening Round 3!"

(Trailer for Season 9 Opening Game 4)

"While you were gone, there have been some pretty major developments in this game."

"Indeed, Bob, first Qin took control of the expansion race by planting a city right in the middle of the map. Mike was highlighting that as a key location, and, considering how important the central regions have been in the past two games, this is definitely a big boon for Qin and his Chinese fans all the way back home."

"Pretty bad for poor Pacal too. He's nearly locked out of the central portion of the map. And now, Sitting Bull is about to put in a death knell for Pacal's chances! He has a settler going straight for the Eastern peninsula! Oh no, Pacal you better get that fourth settler moving!"

"A huge relief for the crowd, as Pacal's seeded leader advantage allows him to win the settling race. It's a start for sure, and you can hear the Mayan fans trying to whip up some energy and breathe life into their champion."

"Pacal needs to wake up fast, Sitting Bull was still able to settle another nearby spot. The Sioux do NOT fool around with settling, Pacal needs to hurry before he's too small to compete even as a Financial leader. At least backfill that fish spot, is he going to ignore the most obvious city spot in the game?"

"Well, he's definitely been bolstered by winning that race, he is now sending another settler to the middle of the map! He and Pericles are competing for the same spot! Pacal should be able to use turn order to win, right?"

"OH NO PACAL! He got too greedy, and Pericles takes that spot! The boo birds are in full force now."

"There sure are a lot of angry Pacals amongst the fans now Bob. Speaking of seeded leaders in ruts, look at Sury, who only just settled his sixth city after being at five for so long. Those wonder builds and that one barb city has hurt him."

"A major shame, considering that otherwise the barbarians have barely made a dent in this game. So far Harappan is the only barb city to spawn! I gotta say Joe, the Romans and the Chinese are looking a lot stronger, they have expanded so well I don't think their lack of culture really matters anymore."

"Even tech pace too."

"Yes, which makes getting more cities out that much more important. And look Joe, Pericles is plotting, and has a massive Phalanx stack building up in Argos near Khmer territory!"

"If there is one thing we've seen Greek leaders use well, it's Phalanxes. Oh no, Suryavarman! It's a repeat of last year, the guy is avoiding Archery! HE CAN ONLY BUILD WARRIORS! Phalanxes will DESTROY him."

"Well, Joe, he has cued up Iron Working and the moment he researches it, he will instantly have metals. But until then, this is a massive window for Pericles to take over the game. There was some not insignificant support for the Greeks this game, and we are seeing why."

"Some small cheers from the crowd - Pacal just got Oracle and slingshotted Monarchy for his favorite civic, and he shouldn't have happiness issues anymore. I can't say he's clawed back to relevance yet. It's Turn 70 and he has just five cities, and his potential sixth city is taking a whopping 18 turns to build. He will need to have some lucky military breaks to get back into contention."

"He's not making very smart teching choices is he? Priesthood, now Sailing? He sorely needs Iron Working! What an ugly early game from the Mayan favorite. Vincarius, who bet 80 gold, has to be nervous now."

"AND HE'S GUNNING STRAIGHT FOR THE BUDDHIST HOLY CITY! SURY CANNOT MUSTER ENOUGH DEFENSE IN TIME, AND HARIHARILAYA FALLS! What a monumental blow for the Khmer. Pericles does not have Catapults, so he needs to try to peace out as soon as possible and keep what is likely to be the world's most valuable shrine. After his initial attack his offense has sputtered, and Sury is going to get a dedicated stack sooner rather than later to retake his most prized jewel."

"I'd say the biggest winner of this conflict is Qin, would you agree Joe?"

"No arguments. While Sury and Pericles looked like the two heavyweights, Qin has quietly developed into a real power of his own, settling and developing eight cities, exactly as many as Imperialistic Caesar. And now any concerns about culture are null and void, as while he has completely skipped Mysticism he is about to research Writing for Libraries."

"As long as he doesn't make silly diplomatic choices. Sury finally founded the third religion of Islam through Monotheism... and immediately spread it to Qin. The AI and their religion, man."

"LOOK AT HOW EXCITED THE CROWD IS NOW! PACAL IS PLOTTING! This is precisely what the Mayan needs to get back in the game. He has a sizeable stack in Chichen Itza, and if he dogpiles Pericles, he could get some crucial extra cities!"

"He sorely needs them, Joe. Pacal is completely out of room with five cities - that sixth settler is stuck in his borders. And, in some bad news for the Pacal crowd, Pericles peaces out, AND RETURNS THE BUDDHIST HOLY CITY FOR PEACE! That was a wasteful war on Pericles' part. Great for my Suryavarman pick though!"

"I'm not sure Pericles can survive this game now. He's poisoned relations with a potential ally and had nothing to show for it. Not great for Pacal either, unless he can tech Construction soon. Pacal isn't the only one plotting, however. Qin also has enough on his hands! Perhaps the two can work together to take out one of the high peaceweights. We will now enter a commercial break while we wait for the next round of wars to begin. This is Joe and Bob at AISPN!"

(Trailer for a documentary of the English-Portuguese space race)

"We are back at AISPN! The Chinese and Mayan armies are still preparing for their campaign, with Qin going for Construction, and while that happened Pericles built the most useless Great Lighthouse of all time, with just one coastal city."

"Kinda kicking poor Pacal while he's down, right? He was also going for the Great Lighthouse and it would have been more beneficial for him."

"And in other news, Caesar essentially has the same amount of culture as THE CAMERAMAN'S CIV."

"Ironic, the Romans claim to fight barbarians and yet they are barbarians themselves."

"Bob, PACAL IS ON THE MOVE! It's not Pericles - it's SITTING BULL!"

"Huh. I nearly forgot that guy was in the game. He'd been doing essentially nothing, and is behind in nearly any metric. An interesting choice of target for Pacal - the Sioux are tough defenders, but they are quite weak right now. Even better is, Qin's army is on the move! He's also bypassing Pericles - the Chinese forces entered Greek territory without declaring war! The crowd is absolutely pumped up, clearly anticipating a Chinese-Mayan coalition. If the Mayans get enough spoils from a Sioux partition they will be completely back in this game."

"You are correct - this is precisely what the favorite needs to put his disappointing opening behind him. Nothing can get you back in the game more than a well executed Construction era attack. I can feel the adrenaline, the crowd is screaming, they are so excited to finally–"

"OH NO!!! JOE! OH MY GOD! QIN DECLARES WAR ON PACAL???!!?!??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? JUST when it looked like he was going to shake things off, Mike's curse strikes again! What a DEVASTATING backstab from Qin, reminiscent of his similarly unexpected attack on Saladin last year!"

"HOW? How? Bob, WHY WOULD HE DO THIS? Qin was ANNOYED with Pericles, he didn't care too much for Sitting Bull, and was PLEASED with Pacal! Yet, he signed Open Borders with the Greeks JUST TO USE THEIR TERRITORY AS A LAUNCHING PAD FOR HIS MAYAN BETRAYAL! Just like that, Pacal is done for, and Qin in one fell swoop is about to take an ironclad grasp on the game!"

"Mike sure knows how to pick em, doesn't he?"

"You're not wrong, Bob! Back to Dianna here, it is time to see what is going on in the field."

"Thanks Joe. Over here in Chichen Itza, a massive Chinese army is waiting at the gates. Pacal's army was invading nearby Moundville, but it got obliterated, leaving his own city precariously undefended. The crowd here is absolutely stunned, I can hear immense shouting and weeping, one very angry fan has ripped apart a Mayan flag with his own teeth, and now a chorus of boos and jeers are raining behind me. Jade trinkets, replica Holkan toy soldiers, beer cans, and hot dogs are being thrown from the stands. It's not a win for Qin yet though, there is decent Greek culture in the area and he needs to push further to net any significant gains. That should be extremely easy however, as Qin has a construction stack and Pacal is still defending with Holkans and Archers, not especially close to Feudalism for Longbows. Looking at the graphs, you can see the classic 'sharkfin' shape, and for someone who already had one of the weakest power levels this is an unmitigated disaster."

"Thanks Dianna. Elsewhere, we have received word that Julius Caesar is gearing up to make his move!"

"That's HUGE, Joe! He does have Praetorians at the perfect time. This is his perfect chance to establish a power position for himself. Who do you think he should attack?"

"Sury, Qin, and Pericles all would be excellent targets. Sury is not quite ready militarily, Pericles will be dogpiled at some point, and Qin is distracted on the other side of the map. Caesar has played an excellent opening, and this is his perfect opportunity to cash in."

"LOOK JOE, HE IS MOVING HIS ARMY ACROSS GREEK TERRITORY!"

"Oh no! Bob, he's ATTACKING SITTING BULL! The guy in the complete opposite corner. And just like that, his winning chances go up in flames like a Portuguese spaceship."

"Also, with that Qin is the obvious frontrunner now."

"Not so fast, Sury has recovered remarkably and is now the tech leader."

"But Qin will even keep Chichen Itza - look at the city screen! He put an Academy there, creating already enough culture to prevent the Greek citizens from revolting."

"Nothing beats good old indoctrination of conquered citizens. Would you say this is the smartest dumbest move with a Great Person in AI Survivor history?"

"Certainly smarter than Lizzy settling a Great Prophet in an iceball city in that other game."

"Well, don't anoint Qin yet, Bob. Sury is back for revenge, kicking off the rematch against the Greeks. With that, we will enter the next commercial break. This is Joe and Bob at AISPN!"

(Trailer for some reality show called The Real Poverty Point)

"While we were in the break, Sury had used his first strike to seize two cities from the Greeks, while Qin has a dedicated Catapult stack barging down the doors of Mutal, Pacal's capital. The stands have emptied at this point, all the noise coming from the barrage of Chinese and Cambodian tourists hooting and hollering."

"I guess all we can do is sit back and relax at the destruction of Maya."

"Sitting Bull is really putting in work too, sending hordes of Sioux attackers to keep the Mayans weakened. He'll be that much more helpful now that he got out of Caesar's pointless war."

"And over in the west Joe, while the Khmer had the first strike advantage, pretty soon both sides got Longbows and the war stalemated out, Sury giving back one of his conquests for peace."

"And Qin has the Hindu shrine now. Fellow Hindu Sitting Bull has a real chance at making the playoffs now! There were whispers that the Sioux could get 2nd place due to his corner position, and it appears that he has chosen the right friend for this game. He's about to get Uxmal for his troubles too."

"Look at that fish city, it still is yet to be settled."

"Really should have been Pacal's 2nd city in hindsight."

"And Qin will, deservedly, net the finishing blow on Pacal. It is official: the Mayans are First To Die, on Turn 154!"

"That's what they would call a massive choke. What a disaster. I'm not sure Pacal can show his face in Latin America for a long time."

"Joe, we've seen many a favorite falter by failing to expand."

"Major calm before the storm now. No wars for now, but almost everyone is preparing for war. It's going to be a BLOODY round of fighting, everyone has reached the dreaded Castle era and the tech pace is already slow. Let's hope for a Domination finish, or else we are in for a long ride."

"Oh come on, what are these jokers doing? Sury and Caesar marching across the map to invade Sitting Bull?"

"Everyone hates Sitting Bull, I guess."

"What monumentally stupid attacks. This is the worst possible time to attack a leader with Totem Pole Protective Longbows, and these are cross map to boot. Aaaand just like that, Sitting Bull's Longbows absolutely shred the Khmer army at Poverty Point. What else do you expect for Sioux Longbows on a hill with Castle defenses."

"Well, Moundville was left relatively undefended and is now under Roman occupation. Not for long, though."

"Might as well hand this game to Qin on a platter.

"Not just that, they are handing over Greece. Qin is here for blood now, sending his gigantic and battle-tested forces against the Greeks uncontested. He now has Chu-ko-nus, and even in the Castle era these guys make a massive difference."

"Chu-ko-nus essentially got Qin a playoff spot last season."

"Instead of defending his homeland, Pericles is besieging Chichen Itza, which, funnily enough, contains the Chichen Itza wonder. That's not going to go well."

"The Greeks and Chinese exchange cities, and then Qin turns back to Chichen Itza. JUST LIKE THAT, THE GREEK ARMY IS COMPLETELY VAPORIZED."

"MY GOD, LOOK AT THE SHARKFIN! That looks like the end of Pericles!"

"Joe, is there any way Qin doesn't win this game?"

"Well Bob, Qin has demonstrated one significant weakness in the past - his tech preferences have caused him to avoid Rifling in the past, he nearly lost his playoff spot last season from doing the Willem Special. His only religious ally is Sitting Bull, and if Sury and Caesar get out of the Sioux quagmire and time a Rifling push, then maybe. But at this point, even if Qin goes Combustion before Rifling, his Production and power edge will probably be too much."

"Heh, he's really twisting the knife in the hearts of the home fans, building Statue of Liberty in the former Mayan capital."

"Speaking of Rifling, Sury and Caesar are both beelining that tech! Maybe we are speaking Qin's downfall into existence!"

"I don't know Bob, the only leader who is in danger from this is Sitting Bull, who is beginning to fall behind in tech... and the residents of Wyoming and South Dakota can breathe, as both leaders withdraw from the 'I Hate Sioux For No Reason' conflict. Much needed, Totem Pole Longbows won't hold up against Cavalry. Sury and Caesar are free agents however. Will they finally wake up and try to slow the Chinese domino? This is Joe and Bob at AISPN, find out after the commercial break!"

(Trailer for a remake of The Mummy where the mummy looks suspiciously like Hatshepsut)

"We are back in AI Survivor Season 9 Opening Game 3 Bob, and well, while we were gone, Qin got Rifles. Think the battle is for second place."

"Not so fast, Joe. Sury has a sizable tech lead, and doesn't seem to be letting go of it anytime soon. Qin has just been in full steam war mode for too much of the game."

"You know what's crazy Bob? Qin is FRIENDLY with Sitting Bull! It took him getting up to +14, but shared religion, mutual military struggle, and civics have bridged any peaceweight gap."

"Indeed, Qin LOVES fellow Bureaucracy enjoyers. This is great for Sitting Bull's survival chances."

"Not just survival - second place is a real possibility. But LOOK, BOB WE SPOKE TOO SOON! SURY IS MARCHING BACK TO SITTING BULL'S TERRITORY!"

"Is Sury trying to lose this game? Qin HATES him, he shouldn't be further destroying relations by attacking his buddy. You don't want to get on the wrong side of the Chinese, not with Assembly Line and Mining Inc already giving him 14 hammers per city."

"He got Poverty Point finally. Yay!"

"Check out the pink Ironclads near what is left of Greece. You don't often see those guys in action."

"You know, back when I was a youngin', my Paw Paw took me down yonder to see Old Ironsides - WAIT WHAT? ET TU, CAESAR? ATTACKING QIN?!?"

"NO, JULES, NO! YOU HAD SECOND PLACE HANDED TO YOU ON A PLATTER! Qin was FRIENDLY with the Romans, he probably at some point would have killed everyone else!"

"And it's WAY too little, WAY late to save Pericles, who has fallen to Qin on Turn 260!"

"He played pretty well, just timed his wars a little bit too late then the diplomacy did not fall in his favor. We'll have to see the Alternate Histories, the guy has real potential here. He might brutalize Sury in some games."

"In other news, the Chinese train has left the station. LOOK AT THAT ARMY, BOB! DO YOUR EYES DECEIVE YOU? SIXTY-THREE CAVALRY IN ONE STACK?"

"Ready the popcorn, this is gonna be a SILKY smooth decimation of the Romans! Look at the graph - Qin's army has to be larger than that of the remaining three leaders combined."

"Meanwhile, it's SITTING_OUT_TROLL season. You know how a Cuirassier era army is holding strong against Sury's Infantry and Cavalry? Qin is not giving Sury Open Borders, and what army he has in Sioux territory is quickly getting spread thin! Soon, the Khmer invaders are wiped out, Sitting Bull retakes Poverty Point and then hands it back for peace!"

"What strange bedfellows! Sury really doesn't deserve to make the playoffs here, even though he will probably survive. Poverty Point might make a big difference though."

"Yeah, it's definitely a blow to Sitting Bull. And that's it for Julius Caesar! Qin secures himself a hat trick on Turn 289."

"Really impressive work by Qin here. Think it's the first hat trick in a long time, we didn't have any in Season 8. He is well on his way to a DESERVED first victory of his AI Survivor career. Meanwhile, Caesar really blew it with some horrific wars. Not just his suicide against a Friendly Qin, but also wasting his best window with a cross map war. For the first time in a while he had an opportunity to maximize his Praetorians, and he just completely wasted them on the worst possible target he could have attacked."

"What a fall from grace since Season 4."

"Regarding the global state of things, I cannot fathom how Sury is still the tech leader. Qin should have far outpaced him, what is going on?"

"LOOK AT QIN'S UNIT COUNT! This is not a drill - the Chinese army has an obscene FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE UNITS."

"Well THAT explains things. That has to be some crippling unit costs. It's potato poe-TAH-to at this point though, he could either use that hammer edge to rocket ahead in Research or to build an unstoppable army."

"Could Sury pull off a Culture win?"

"Definitely not, only three holy cities and one culture trait. A Cultural ending is not happening anyways, Qin has the other four holy cities and to get more he would need to attack Sury, at which point he'd just reach Domination. Hey look, Qin just made a major civic swap, and he's only Pleased towards Sitting Bull. The question now is, who will get second place? Find out after the commercial break!"

(Affected by the curse of Mike's picks? Take this experimental medication! Side effects are, well you get the gist.)

"We are back at Joe and Bob at AISPN, and QIN HAS DECIDED TO MURDER SURY! CAN THE KHMER KEEP HIS QIN UP BEFORE THE CHINESE REACH DOMINATION? Good luck, one Chinese stack alone contains 241 units."

"One city falls, and Qin is already less than three percentage points away from Domination. Suryavarman is 1100 points ahead of Sitting Bull, can he hold on?"

"We were mentioning earlier Bob, getting Poverty Point in the peace treaty was crucial. Qin immediately captured it, but Sitting Bull will have to grow it back VERY quickly."

"Would you say Sury almost has TOO MUCH CULTURE? His highly populated cities are dropping like flies, and yet the pink Chinese borders are rarely stretching! If Qin takes too many cities before his conquests get out of revolt Sury really could fall behind! IS SITTING BULL SERIOUSLY GOING TO GET SECOND PLACE HERE?"

"HE LOSES A SIZE 15 CITY! SURY IS STILL CLINGING ON TO SECOND PLACE, BUT QIN HAS OVER 700 UNITS NOW!"

"NOW A SIZE 16 CITY HAS FALLEN!"

"THE TANKS ROLL TO THE BUDDHIST HOLY CITY - AND SURY HOLDS ON BY 200 POINTS!"

"And Qin gets his FIRST EVER AI SURVIVOR VICTORY, in stunning fashion, a Turn 319 triple kill Domination victory! The Chinese fans are ELATED, and they should be, staying up SO LATE to watch Qin - this is the first Chinese AI Survivor victory SINCE THE INAUGURAL SEASON! Greatly deserved, after a mediocre opening he just perfectly chose and executed his wars, and now has a great playoff starting position waiting for him as a reward. Sury on the other hand greatly disappointed me. He just failed greatly on the military end, took too long to research early game military techs to get set back greatly, and then spent the rest of his game either sitting on his butt or launching meaningless fights against Sitting Bull."

"Speaking of, Sitting Bull finishes quite intact, with a much deserved survival. He will be joining Lincoln and Hatshepsut in what is increasingly looking like a high peaceweight fiesta Wildcard game. My god, Hatty HAS to win that game. Diplomatically it is getting handed to her on a silver platter."

"I know, if she loses I will never trust her in an AI Survivor game ever again. Very much agreed on Sitting Bull, he played about as well as he could, and defended himself admirably in the face of endless invasions."

"We'd go back to Dianna for a summary of the contests, but we just received word that she has a trip to the spa planned with the Burger King, so we will be running it. Bob?"

"Yes Joe. In the Prediction Contest, a great congratulations to Raylen Givens and Tortoise, who scored 21 and 20 points respectively, the two highest scores. Huey boy, that's a bad result from the so-called 'Smart Random.org'. A nice game overall for the community, with a ten point average score, higher than the two previous weeks! This was also an extremely consequential Fantasy game too. Look at poor Vincarius, who joined Lobster667 in the 'pay a premium for First To Die' club. He had such a strong start with Joao, but having his heaviest hitter already down in such a manner has to be disastrous."

"Also a nice debut for the defending Fantasy champion Kjotleik, who will see Sury get another chance to score points in the playoffs with an interesting looking starting position. But the REAL winner of all this is local AI Survivor beat reporter ABC170, who spent a paltry 16 gold on Qin! For reference, legendary analyst aetryn has stated that the minimum value for ANY leader is 15 gold. 16 gold has already netted ABC170 8 points, and he should be utterly ecstatic especially after Asoka proved to be a coup for him! And he is yet to see his big bids play! He certainly is a clear and obvious frontrunner for the Season 9 Fantasy trophy."

"Kinda funny, he was telling me earlier he nearly bid 80 gold himself on Pacal. The AI Survivor gods appear to be on his side."

"You know, remember that fish site near Pacal's territory? It never got settled."

"Heh, they were blind to the seafood. On that note, I'm going to get myself some seafood. We hope you enjoyed today's broadcast of AI Survivor Season 9 Opening Round 3! We will be back next Friday! Tune in, 12 PM EST/11 AM CST to Joe and Bob on AI-SPN!